I just realised that I haven't finish uploading my skiing trip, ah well. So let's see, what have I been up to?
My stress phase (where I think the emo-ness inside of me really came out) is still lurking around, but I hope after a few days, I'll feel just fine :) I haven't been sleeping well, which I think may have caused this to happen.
I applied for Uni already. Sad to say, its not The Hotel Management School in Switzerland, but the universities here. Will I get accepted? I hope so. Year 13 is such a waste of time. Maybe coz I'm not enjoying my life in high school (don't ask).
I applied for The University of Auckland - Bachelor of Arts, Bachelor of Commerce, Bachelor of Business Information and Management, Bachelor of Law.
I'm gonna apply for AUT soon, a.k.a Auckland University of Technology.
My Year 13 Option Choices (if I don't get accepted into Uni)
13 Media Studies 13 Economics 13 Statistics and Modelling 13 Geography 13 English W Band
Second Choice - 13 Calculus
OK, I've been really stressing about my subjects next year. First of all, people are telling me to NOT take 2 maths subjects (coz it'll be darn hard). But then, I find Statistics & Modelling to be pretty hard, as they have to write and write loads of stuff (which I had never learnt b4, coz Malaysian Maths is like more of the numbers etc. I don't remember Mr Law (ahem) teaching us how to write in English for Probability. I just remember copying the answers from the back of book.) So I'm afraid it'll be really hard. And to make things worse, my teacher told me that he'll be surprised if I DON'T TAKE CALCULUS next year (which i am planning to NOT take) Coz if i wanna study Business or Commerce in Uni, stats is more important. so yeah, I'm stressed. To make matters worse, people are telling me that English is really really super duper hard next year. Like its mainly all LITERATURE. And me, not having the foundation of Literature and all (all I remember from STTSS's Literature is THE NECKLACE (duhh). Haha) And like its all Shakespeare and stuff, and I'm afraid I wont be able to answer the questions. There are 2 English classes, one is U BAND (its like University Band, meant for people who want to study English in Uni, obviously its the HARDER class) and W BAND (its like a Writing based class, this is the one where I might be taking, coz I like writing and all. But Literature? Arghhh) I don't know whether to do English now. And Media and Geography is an 'English rich' subject, and is recognised by The University of Auckland (my main target) and this is why im stressing. I haven't taken Geo this year, and I hope I get enough credits to get into this subject. and then, I have Economics, where I have no choice but to take it :( And if I don't get into any of my first 5 choices, then I'll be put into my second choice, Calculus, so... pray for me. Should I do English? Should I take Stats? Should I do two Maths? Should I take another easier subject, like Travel & Tourism or Business Management? Argh! I'm so confused. But just imagine, if I get into Uni, all my worries will be gone :) Pray for me.
To make things even more worse, I will only be returning to NZ on 1st Feb, arriving 2nd Feb. And my option choices day is on January 28! So I wont make it to my Year13 Option Choice Day! This is the day where us Year13 students will have to go fill in your subjects and confirm your spot in the class that you wanted. Eg, what if I don't get into Geo, then I will have to sort it out on that day. And being that I wont be here, that means that I cant sort out my options! So I'll be totally class-less when I start school next year. You get me?
Ohhhh, I've been having a lot of flashbacks recently. And it's been great. And I believe, not thinking too much about 'them' has helped me. Once in a while, maybe. But not too much :)
omg, There are more Malaysians in my school than I thought! Haha.. like I know 8 Malaysians now! I mean, the number of people that I really know is like, 5 people? I know 3 more, but I don't really know them. I just know that they're Malaysians :)
I want to feel the competitiveness in me again. I want the thrill and the anxiety rushing through me again. When will it be my time?
I think relationships never work out. I'll let go. Officially...
Hope to be looking for a part-time job soon. I'm in a financial crisis now. Haha. Broke. And the prices are rising now. So that means that there is an increase in Supply, and a decrease in Demand, which will cause the Aggregate Demand curve to shift out, causing a Cost-Push Inflation. OKAY, getting into too much Economics information here. Haha. This is because I just finished my Economics test. And I have to say it was DARN HARD. ugh
How I loveeeeeeee Maria Sharapova. She's been winning recently (hopefully this is not a jinx) I just love her. ONCE A MARIA SHARAPOVA FAN, ALWAYS A MARIA FAN :)
I believe that true friends are hard to find. But I never thought that normal friends are so hard to get. There's no point in waiting.
I think that coming to a new environment has changed me, it has taught me to look outside the box, and learn new cultures. And I believe everyone SHOULD go through this, so that they can see how shitty they are or other people are. I believe that people have to change to fit in. And I hope that I didn't change that much. Its not that I want to be the person I am today. But I'mI'll ever be, rather than being mad at the person. Some people might be shocked on how much this means to me, but some people might not care at all. I realised that my whole life, I have been that type of person, where people find me complicated & kinda hard to understand. But once you live in another persons shoe, you realise what kind of person you have been. Sometimes, you just wish for other people to live the life of others, and not blame them for stuff. I'm so sorry for everything that I have done. I only found out that I have been doing this to you all along. Finding the right group of people is hard, damn hard. I was forced to. The emo-ness is itching it's way back.
And I was waiting for such a long time, for something that I have come to realise that it will never happen if I keep waiting. I might as well just let go. And when the time comes, I can be happier than
Breathe Stephen, breathe.
I hate my freaking phone. Like seriously, I'm going back to that shop and gonna shout my head out at the person. 3 times now. They better change my phone (replace it) or refund me. I'm so mad.
I was browsing through YouTube.
I have to learn to ignore the people who don't give a damn about me. (You might think that this is not you, but yeah, its you)
It's now 2am. I've been waiting for a couple of days now. And no one is online.