I'm not the next anyone, I'm the first ME

Tagboard

Talk-lah bah :)

Archives

• October 2008
• January 2009
• February 2009
• March 2009
• April 2009
• May 2009
• June 2009
• July 2009
• August 2009
• September 2009
• October 2009
• November 2009
• December 2009
• January 2010
• February 2010
• March 2010
• April 2010
• May 2010
• June 2010
• July 2010
• August 2010
• October 2010
• November 2010
• December 2010
• January 2011
• March 2011
• April 2011
• November 2011
• December 2011



F.R.I.E.N.D.S

• Justeaboi
• Charles Chua
• Averyl
• Mei-Jin
• Shuk Mun
• Yin Man
• Yun Jie
• Max Yong
• Alex Tseu
• Wayne Lim
• Emily
• Fay Lee
• Federick
• Shanna
• Wen
• Major Chan
• Clement
• Han
• Annabelle
• Carmen Loong
• Sharon


Layout by 69?

Sorry for not upating lately. So prepare youself for a long post (I hope)

The reason for me not updating my blog, is cause , being in my last year in College, all my subjects are important and all the choices that I make have to be crucial and I have to aim high. Therefore, I have been exhausted after coming back from school everyday, which automatically means that after a long days work studying and writing heaps of essays, I dont even feel like typing anymore. Sorry peeps. so, it would seem like I would most likely update during the weekends. You dont know how much I love the weekends right now. My holidays are in 5 weeks time. How am I going to survive? I dont know. Lets hope I do.

The subjects I am taking this year are - Economics, English, Media Studies, Geography, Statistics and Modelling.

To summarise up all my classes, I have the same teacher for Economics, Thank goodness. Well, there are pros and cons for having the same teacher. Well, I like my economics teacher, alot, coz he's more fun to listen to appose to the other teacher. Coz the other one is boring! haha. My teacher tells jokes and his everyday life etc. He tells us he drinks beer every weekend etc. NZ ppl are really open. LOL. And how he told us to NOT follow an american to a department stall. As his gf is an american, he followed her, and he ended up NOT buying anything for himself, and he left the mall, carrying all her bags. Apparently, she bought 3 pairs of shoes and tons of clothes. Haha. to americans, its really cheap here. Lol. Anyway, Economics have been moslty about what I learnt last year, so thats good. So its kinda been a easier in a way. But you get so sleepy during economics. I mean, come on, who doesnt??

As for English. Its getting pretty challenging this year. TONS of books to read and write. Something like a book review, but sorta deeper than writing what the book is about. Thank goodness for not doing SHAKESPEAR yet. But we are doing like analysing poems etc. And you are expected to know the terms and stuff. I am totally LOST in english. Lots of brushing up to do :(

Media Studies in Year13 is a level much higher than I thought. Its so tough! Plus, lots and lots and lots of writing to do! like heaps! U are expected to write 1000 words on one section of one topic. Get it? Like in one question, part A needs to be 1000 words and part B another 1000 words. My fingers we about to cramp when I finished my PRACTICE draft. I dont know how to survive it. The exam for this written one takes 5 weeks to complete. Which means I have to hand in on the last day of the term before the holidays. Can you imagine that? My teacher wants to have drafts every week. Which means, 3 diff topics every week. So about 6000 words a week? Ok, I am not exaggerating. It's really stressful. And I think I chose the wrong subject.

Well, Geography has been sorta fun. Well, sorta. We have to learn the world map and stuff. But in really detail. Like where Chang Jiang is (its a river) or where the Amazon River, Andes Mountains are etc. Its been fun. Til lthe day we were given the task to memorise MAORI words for a test. What the. We totally had to memorise the words and meaning. Well, being the hardworking person I am, I got ALL CORRECT! haha! 19 out of 19. Well, to tell you the truth, I didnt really study (am not bragging) but I have to say that I kinda fluked it. Lol. Iwi means a Tribe. Hekenga means migration. And Whakanohonoho means Maori Settlement. Yes, I can go on and on and on. but I wont :)

Statistics and Modelling is like probability and stuff. But we have to write them in a essay form. Well, we havent learnt those yet. But we had to learn pobability. And to tell you the truth, I HATE probability. I love calculus. But I couldnt take that class coz if I wanted to study Business or Commerce in Uni, I would have to take Stats. Totaly bummer :( Stats is really really hard. I miss Helen Ting.

Ok, now for more important topics.....

I was so emotional the day I left. I dont know why. But I just was. I felt so touched before I left my home. Going over to see my grandad and saying goodbye to him was so hard. He never usually smile that much plus he is getting old, which means that he doesnt usually interact that much and move alot. But somehow, that day, he stood up and walked towards me and my sister. And smiled. That smile of his was so rewarding. If only I could paint a picture of his smile. His smile would definitely my motivation everyday. Besides that, the words he said, was so touching. The way he said it, his gestures, Ahhhh. so touching. He told me to study hard and be a good kid. He said how happy he would be just seeing his grandchildren study hard and graduate. The way he said it, was as if I would never see him again. I was truly touched. I felt the love :) I immediately cried after that. I dont know why. The emotions just rushed through.

I would like to give a shout out to the people who got me gifts this yr before I left. Especially thanks to those to who sent me too :). Thanks Hajar and Amylline for your gifts. Im sorry if I caused trouble to you Hajar, I was so happy that you considered to get me the Bag. Thanks.

On to other news, TV shoes are starting this week! YES! New seasons I mean. Haha. Greys Anatomy, Brothers and Sisters, Desperate Housewives, Tabatha's Saloon Makeover, etc. Its so good. Haha. But how can I study and watch at the same time? So yeah, I guess it could send both positive and negative impacts too. Haha.

Omg. You could get so sick with this weather here right now. one minute it would be raining, and the other sunny. I hate it so much. The wind here is soooo strong. I feel like im about to get blown away any minute. Haha. Being so skinny and all. Lol.

Ohh, I did shopping. Haha. I feel so bad coz I went to buy stuff. But of course, I had good intentions. I bought it coz I need a purple shirt die to my sports day coming up (Its next Tuesday). And I bought a pair of shoes coz I needed them for school. and I bought pants. Coz... I needed them too? Haha. But, I only bought them coz they were on sales! HAHAHA. So, I did save money too. LOL.

Omg. The sationary here is SO BAD. I got pics to show you. BAD & extremely EXPENSIVE. Haha.. Its like you can get them in signature for 80cents. But here, its so expensive. Its those 80cents quality but its like the GSOFT PEN's price. Lol. Hahahahha.

Anyway, some of you might know, both my friends here started getting really close again. Ahem.. they started unhooking the other persons bra strap, touching the other persons crotch. Yes, really icky. But I guess, that's their thing? lol.

Oh, I went to the Chinese New Year Celebration the other day in ASB Greenlane. It was kinda... cool. Haha. Pictures to show.

Oh, there arent many hot chicks in my school this yr. Disappointed. Haha. But I feel a feeling of my light being rekindled. Haha. Woops. Fingers crossed :)

Well, I have been a little disappointed with some stuff recenlty. But dont feel like blogging bout that. Keeping things happy in this blog.

ME & da MALAYSIA Stall. Lol. One roti canai was $4. *Mouth watering BUT Wallet Crying*

Planning to update soon.

Not too sure when though.

Hopefully, I will.

Stephen
I have to say, I have not been updating since I got back. Well, you could say that I have either been very buys or been very lazy. Haha. Well, the trip so far has been good. Just a few days left now. The people who know me would probably be thinking why I have not done a countdown thing yet on my msn status. And that’s because I don’t want to. I do not want to see the number of days I have left. It’s been a fruitful experience since coming back.

To summarize, the fruitful experience does not mean that it has been a joy being back here. I have to say, there has been a few ups and downs so far. Well, obviously being the person I am, I get angry really fast. And well, I know my weakness as a person and as a friend. It sometimes amazes me how you think you know what your weaknesses are, but actually you’re kind of wrong. I have to say, I have been down about a couple of stuff. I realize that people aren’t the same anymore. All of us have grown up and have changed. For better or for worse, it definitely opened a new chapter of my life.

Being angry does not mean that I hate that person. My mood swings happen really fast. I can change from being happy to moody in a few seconds. Well, you have to understand that this happens vice versa. I can also turn happy when I am sad. But people don’t understand this, which makes it harder for me to keep up. I don’t blame anyone, obviously, with my past and all. But is it so hard to believe that people change???
After one year of suicidal writing about my personal qualities in school for my Business Operations class and Financial Literacy class, I have come to realize that one word means a whole lot. For example, ‘Smart’, does it only cover the meaning of being smart where you are intellectually smart. Or should the definition include smart, being the way people dress or the way people think. Coming back to KK made me realize a whole new perspective of words. Well, in a good and in a bad way.

THANK YOU – is a phrase where people take it for granted. Does it really come from the heart when someone says it? I’m not sure. I know I take into account a lot of unnecessary stuff, but I really do appreciate everything that is given to me. You don’t know how much it hurts till you feel the pain. When you dedicate your own personal time to do stuff for other people, a simple ‘thank you’ from the heart means so much. But a thank you than constant talking about the negative instantly removes that genuine gesture (in my opinion though). I feel like I have been wasting my time and people do not realize it. It really wasn’t easy for me to feel that rush of emotions in a few seconds. That’s when my old self kicks in. I get angry, I get moody. If only you understood. Well, I bounced back, didn’t I?

Don’t you just wish you had a poker face? Well, I wish I did. I am so bad at playing Gin Rummy as I show all my emotions (i.e. I don’t think I will pay many visits to casinos in the future). I think the game teaches me great qualities which includes the lesson to control my emotions. It’s good for a person for me. Yes, I admitted it. I know that I am hard to cope with, but you imagine, if you can’t cope with me, then you can’t cope with yourself and your emotions.
Which brings me to a friend who I have not seen a bit of emotion (not saying you’re emotionless) displayed yet! Haha. You have been an inspiration to me, and I do wish to follow your footsteps one day.

I have to say, being back has brought me great memories. I think that there is one special moment for me where I felt like I was in-love. Yes, in-love. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s not really the ‘love’ feel, but like, I sort of felt an attraction to you at one stage. It was somewhat bizarre and funny all at once. But it was good, all good.

Lady Gaga in March. I am really excited. I can’t believe that I only got tickets to the upper bowl though. Can’t really see her from that far away! I hope that there are screens all over stadium that shows her up-close. I am really excited. I have been memorizing all her songs recently. It definitely has been very challenging!

Oh, my results came out the other day. Was pretty disappointed & happy at the same time. I would have to say that my economics results were shocking. I was so relieved and happy after seeing my grades for economics. I was disappointed with Mathematics and Media Studies. But then again, I was pretty glad with my English results. Haha. I had mixed feelings. (Well, I also did feel a bit hurt after one incident. But let me just leave it here) :)

I have been experiencing this bad memory of an incident which I just can’t seem to forget! It has been playing in my mind for days now. And I just can’t seem to let it go! Isn’t incredible how one or two messages can spoil your whole day? Well, I experienced it. Yes, I felt so bad and hurt while feeling like I was a bad person. Then only it hit me, not everyone likes you 24 hours a day. Some days, someone might dislike the way you are, and on some other days, people treat you like they are your best friend in the world. I don’t get it though. Was there a reason for you to do so? Or are you really a friend? Hmmm. That message which I read was hurtful and mean. Then it hit me! Not everyone is innocent. Even I have talked about someone behind their back before. So why should I get angry? And therefore, I wasn’t angry. Instead, I was down and sad. No one understood how I felt. I believed that it was just a onetime thing and that the person didn’t really mean. But then I suddenly think about the past and then only it hit me. Are we really friends?

Stephen