I'm not the next anyone, I'm the first ME

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I feel so disappointed with myself. I am just, so down with myself. I just cant believe how bad I have and am handling myself with this exam. I cant believe I let myself down once again. Why?

But how could I be down when I will be going back to my 'motherland' Malaysia? (lol, i just came up with that.) My mind is not set on the exams. Instead, its dreaming and fantasising about the things that I'm going to do when I get back. I cant concentrate at all. And puts a big question mark in my head. Can I really set myself to do one thing? I feel so angry and disappointed and happy and anxious at the same time. Why?

I have two more exams left. Economics and Media Studies. I feel extremely worried about both subjects. Economics is all about the definitions and revision that I have and SHOULD HAVE done. The standards that I have set for myself are not met. I fell short of my goal. And I have one more day to actually feel more prepared. And I don't think I'm going to make it. I hope. And as for Media, I am thinking of DROPPING one paper. I have two essays to write. And due to the hectic-ness of the last term with the Horror Trailer, my teacher hasn't fully taught us how to tackle the essay. And I am worried. I don't think I know how to answer the essay. Plus, hundreds of memorising is needed, and I don't have the time. And it's my fault. No one is too be blamed. Why?


7 Days to Kuala Lumpur. ( 6 Days actually. But 7 sounds nicer :) ) I have planned very clearly what I will be doing during my stay there. I have long lists of what I have to do and what I have to bring back home. Being overweight is NOT an option. (I feel so proud taking out even ONE pair of shirt out of my luggage. One shirt means so much to me. So I'll be going around KK with the same pairs of shirts every week. LOL.

I am officially addicted to Lady Gaga's latest album. The Fame Monster.

I miss the time where we were really close with each other. What happened? Was it me? I remember your smile, all the conversations we had online and through texts. However, this never happened again. Why?